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Tendons outstretched towards fingers,
touching, feeling blissful enrapture
as her breath grew hotter and closer,
where I can read love letters in her eyes.

Sinews of our skin rippling against an
August breeze coming off the coast--
us standing here tonight, unflinching
and letting warmth envelop us.

My lips pulling strings to your heart,
unlocking the treasure within - seeing
glimmers of your smile as you retract your
lips to meet mine in an embrace.
©2008-2009 ~LilithLairPoetry
:iconlilithlairpoetry:

Author's Comments

Revised edition of an old poem. Flows better than before and has connection with the writer and his muse. Enjoy, comment and fav+ appreciated!


Omitted last stanza since the third one pretty much was a finisher. :) Thanks for the suggestions guys!

Comments


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:iconarcalian:
Beautiful! :love:

--
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him... The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself... All progress depends on the unreasonable man." --George Bernard Shaw

[link]
:iconblackittyrose004:
I have not seen the old work so my comments may be in vain, but it flows really well, I love the building...with a sense of ebb and flow. It is a romance piece that should be admired. Great work!!

:blackrose:

--
TVD AND DA!! KEEP THE PEACE AND THE ART ALIVE!

Visit TVD on dA HERE: [link]
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:iconm-playc3ll:
I do not think that the last verse flows that well with the rest of the poem, but other than that, I like it. Great read.

--
/max

Δ
:iconkikyounokanashii:
I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to agree with M-PlayC3ll, the end doesn't fit to me. The word "soliloquy" is what sticks out to me. Loved it ^^

--
Since we met when I was hurt and broken
Once the pain was gone it's almost like we were drifting apart...

A Place of Feeling [link]
:iconteresa-lynn:
very beautiful

--
[link] Moderation? Why limit yourself as an artist?
:iconlilithlairpoetry:
Thanks for reading Teresa! Much appreciated.

--
Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
:iconlilithlairpoetry:
Thanks for reading! I decided to take out the ending entirely since the finisher was in the third stanza. The last stanza was just excess.

--
Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
:iconlilithlairpoetry:
I decided to omit it since soliloquy didn't match and a whole bunch of other shit didn't match the overall theme of the piece. Thanks for the comments and fav.

--
Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
:iconlilithlairpoetry:
Thanks Kitty! :hug: The old piece was too rigid, so I did a touch up and sentence changes in this one and knew I had to come up with a better title. Since the flow is like conducting an orchestra, and the poem is at a climaxing moment.

--
Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!

Details

May 8, 2008
615 bytes
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