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Overture by =LilithLairPoetry:iconLilithLairPoetry:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Mature Romance > Open




Tendons outstretched towards fingers,
touching, feeling blissful enrapture
as her breath grew hotter and closer,
where I can read love letters in her eyes.

Sinews of our skin rippling against an
August breeze coming off the coast--
us standing here tonight, unflinching
and letting warmth envelop us.

My lips pulling strings to your heart,
unlocking the treasure within - seeing
glimmers of your smile as you retract your
lips to meet mine in an embrace.
©2008 =LilithLairPoetry
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Submitted: May 8
File Size: 615 bytes
Image Size: 9.9 KB
Resolution: 400×158
Comments: 15
Favourites & Collections: 4 [who?]

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Author's Comments

Revised edition of an old poem. Flows better than before and has connection with the writer and his muse. Enjoy, comment and fav+ appreciated!


Omitted last stanza since the third one pretty much was a finisher. :) Thanks for the suggestions guys!

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*Arcalian:iconArcalian: 5 days 18 hours ago
Beautiful! :love:

--
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him... The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself... All progress depends on the unreasonable man." --George Bernard Shaw

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~Blackittyrose004:iconBlackittyrose004: 5 days 13 hours ago
I have not seen the old work so my comments may be in vain, but it flows really well, I love the building...with a sense of ebb and flow. It is a romance piece that should be admired. Great work!!

:blackrose:

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=M-PlayC3ll:iconM-PlayC3ll: 5 days 11 hours ago
I do not think that the last verse flows that well with the rest of the poem, but other than that, I like it. Great read.

--
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carroll

I best leave you to your clubbing. Who knows what monstrosities may be in need of beatings and bruises. - ~chocolate-therapy
~Kikyounokanashii:iconKikyounokanashii: 5 days 1 hour ago
I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to agree with M-PlayC3ll, the end doesn't fit to me. The word "soliloquy" is what sticks out to me. Loved it ^^

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Since we met when I was hurt and broken
Once the pain was gone it's almost like we were drifting apart...

A Place of Feeling [link]
=teresa-lynn:iconteresa-lynn: 4 days 14 hours ago
very beautiful

--
There is beauty in everything....only some are lucky enough to find it :heart: we should count ourselves lucky!
=LilithLairPoetry:iconLilithLairPoetry: 3 days 23 hours ago
Thanks for reading Teresa! Much appreciated.

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Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
=LilithLairPoetry:iconLilithLairPoetry: 3 days 23 hours ago
Thanks for reading! I decided to take out the ending entirely since the finisher was in the third stanza. The last stanza was just excess.

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Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
=LilithLairPoetry:iconLilithLairPoetry: 3 days 23 hours ago
I decided to omit it since soliloquy didn't match and a whole bunch of other shit didn't match the overall theme of the piece. Thanks for the comments and fav.

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Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
=LilithLairPoetry:iconLilithLairPoetry: 3 days 23 hours ago
Thanks Kitty! :hug: The old piece was too rigid, so I did a touch up and sentence changes in this one and knew I had to come up with a better title. Since the flow is like conducting an orchestra, and the poem is at a climaxing moment.

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Necrophilia, the sudden urge to crack open a cold one!
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