Worst Haiku Ever Contest Results!

Wow, tons of 'bad' entries, some were just random and really bad, but some stood out and really exemplifies the worst haiku without being repetitive. I had fun judging, and everyone that submitted is a winner. For those that didn't get the top 3 or Honorable Mentions, you all had nice little nifty smart-ass rewards on what I interpreted from your pieces. *drum roll*

                                     Top 3 Finishers!!
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HaikuI taught U luvd me
Now I am sad AND bleeding
Sakura blossom
goottihippi

I taught U luvd me
Now I am sad AND bleeding
Sakura blossom

1st Place!!

What can I say, goottihippi writes the most horribly cliched haiku, mixing a combination of stereotypes that makes most Editors cringe if they see them. You got corny romance, an EMO line, and then throw in some overused traditional Haiku to make it nature-based out of nowhere, but it all makes some sense, and therefore gets #1 spot!



GeneratingHype

a springtime ribbit
awash in dump truck headlights--
green gravel pancakes

2nd Place

Imagination has no boundaries, no matter how depraved or sickening this haiku is by GeneratingHype. This poem took me back to my days of playing Frogger and feeling so demented when I kept on getting it run over by traffic. I love how he keeps the traditional nature of haiku and adds a bit of contemporary modern-esque touch to it.


'Woolen Tears' - BAD.I cry into wool,
Crimson stains remain, alone,
Like shit on the moon.
MaskedVengeance

I cry into wool,
Crimson stains remain, alone,
Like shit on the moon.

3rd Place

Another eccentric EMO haiku with some interesting random elements thrown in. MaskedVengeance intelligently places some forethought prolly after drinking massive amounts of alcohol before conjuring this cubic zirconium in the trash heap piece.


                                 Honorable Mentions
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BeccaJS

There once was a man
called Bob, who... oh shit, that's wrong
--that's a limerick!


Honorable Mention

Submission for Worst Haiku
oh yellow flower!
how you make my allergies
bloom like spring morning.
thenakedlunch

oh yellow flower!
how you make my allergies
bloom like spring morning.

Honorable Mention

A Night to RememberPlay with me, baby.
Let us spend this night moaning
in your husband's bed.
damnedlostsoul

Play with me, baby.
Let us spend this night moaning
in your husband's bed.

Honorable Mention

Worst Haiku EverWorst Haiku Ever
Burning pink suns
glisten in the noonday heat-
grandmother's nipples.
niedec

Burning pink suns
glisten in the noonday heat-
grandmother's nipples.

Honorable Mention

Spring's Lament-Farm Country               blood-sucking insects
          fields on fire and chicken litter
                  I morn for Winter
time-warrior

blood-sucking insects
          fields on fire and chicken litter
                  I morn for Winter

Honorable Mention

                                    Random Awards
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aingealdorcha

her thighs: they jiggle
like cottage cheese and Jell-O
I think I'm in love

"Thanks for the Visual" Award
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TwilightsFall

L0vE iS FOREVER!!11!!!1119!
Constipated hemorrhoids
Tripping on acid.

"You've been DQ'd" Award
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SicilianGoddess

Tree sap looks like cum
the clouds tastes like my mom's pubes
lee is my big bro

The "I'm Tripping on Acid" Award
-----------------------------------------------------

silence-on-the-grave

princess dance on street
vroum! come car, squash her flat. Yay!
silly princess dead.

The Bad Taste Award
-----------------------------------------------------

:thumb63480822:
lockethehunter

Yo momma, she so fat,
Or at least, that's what she said
When we had done it!

Old Skool Award
-----------------------------------------------------

FlyingApe

Go japan, japan!
Go japan, japan, japan!
Go japan, japan!

The "Japanese Appreciation Day" Award
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underwoodwriter

lexdysia kuhais
tenssrega mesco in llsma dorws
ym tisrip osars hihg

Gibberish Award
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Baka no Haiku
Baka no Haiku or The Complete Moron's Guide to Haiku
I have all these . . . thoughts.
Deep thoughts, you know what I mean?
Chicken . . . or the egg . . .
batousaijin

I have all these . . . thoughts.
Deep thoughts, you know what I mean?
Chicken . . . or the egg . . .

Deep Philosophical Thinking Award
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Ferelwing

Movie star drives car
She drives too fast splat
Stupid star dead

"Paris Hilton Wish Foundation" Award
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AbCat

She loves me, she loves
me not, she loves me, she loves
me not... she loves me!

"The Blow-up Doll" Award
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Haiku - 08.29.07
-
a frog that was
and a rippling pond-
the old man writes
-
MSJames

a frog that was
and a rippling pond-
the old man writes

"I Think I'm in the wrong contest" Award
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Beckieflitz

Haiku sucks real bad.
This is not a haiku. No.
Your eyes are lying.

"I think I'm Blind" Award
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Tale of the turdFresh grass smells of spring
and I'm rotting beneath it.
How embarrassing!
Tannalein

Fresh grass smells of spring
and I'm rotting beneath it.
How embarrassing!

The Zombie Award
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PunkPygmiePuff

Barks of laughter
grown men dress as weird canines
and I am confused

"Michael Vick being tormented in Prison" Award
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SoulConsciousness

ouch i can feel fire,
penis burning in the night,
now my pants are tight,

"Dont Play With Fire" Award
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KennethSno

Foggy head, parched tongue
Clothing strewn haphazardly;
Drinking myself dead

WebMD Alcohol Award
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Worst haiku everDangling hedgehog
Left-handed and Lebanese
Eating grape donkey
Cigarash

Dangling hedgehog
Left-handed and Lebanese
Eating grape donkey

Stop Smoking Weed Award
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As you can tell I had a lot of fun and thanks for participating!

~Lee